A Reflection on my mother's life.

Some Personal Reflections

 

        The time is now 5:30 a.m. on Friday morning Aug 23, 2013.  I have been awake for about an hour and after laying in bed developing pages upon pages of thoughts in my mind, I finally decided to get up and put a few of these thoughts onto paper.  With a cup of coffee at my right hand and the household still fast asleep, I am finally able to be by myself for a short time, to think and just be, luxuriating in alone time after arriving this past Monday evening to my mother’s hospital bedside where family was assembled to be with mom as she eventually passed from this life into the next this past Wednesday evening.   There has been so much hubbub going on since that point of mom’s departure that this is the first quiet time (awake) that I have had and at present, bathing in as a child does in a bubble bath. 

        The thoughts that I awoke to this morning were of course centering on my mom, her life, the life events and people that I grew up around, as well as the community that helped form who I am, how I view life, and how I live out my life because of these influence.  As I was laying in my bed thinking about all of these things, I decided I really needed to pen a few of these reflections, which I may or may not share in the future.  I found the “pastor” or “professional” me developing a sermon which in its basic form is only a way of reflecting upon life and the relationship between God and Humanity (or myself specifically.)  As the old saying goes, you can take the boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy.  So I am going to attempt to record some of these early morning thoughts as a way of helping me process the deep, deep impact that my mother Bonnie Neal Wohlford Mitchell Nichols has had on my life.

        One of the basic truths in my development was to understand “life” as something that “one” can/should learn from; that there is a purpose for all events.  This is of course one of the ultimate teaches that one learns through the Bible, but it was always taught to me from almost every family member that preceded me.  The Apostle Paul penned this reality as, “All things work to the good and glory of God.”  What this means in my family is that no matter how hard or dark life gets, you can find good out of it if you just look hard enough.  Is this the generation of Depression Era babies thinking?  Possibly, but it was a basic understanding of life that my mother taught me and my siblings.  It was vocalized by mom’s mother as well as my great aunts and uncles, and you read the same teaching in the Hebrew Scriptures specifically out of the book of Ecclesiastes. 

        Another thought that I awoke with this morning is just how “tribal” we as humans are.  Those patriarch and matriarchs who settled in what I call my hometown Kingman Kansas planted seeds so deep that even though most of the family no longer lives specifically in that community, changing life events always draw up back; usually through a death in the family.  Even for those of the family who were never raised in Kingman, find themselves drawn back.  I know that this will eventually fade as generations further from the original planters loose that connection, but for me, my reality is, the family continually draws together for support of one another from time to time, even if there is no contact between those times.

        These past couple of days staying at my sister Sandy’s house, I have once again had the opportunity to enjoy the company of my two nieces, Lindsey and Tandi.  I have spent most of their lives living in distant parts of the country, missing out on watching them grow into adults.  Yet at times like these as we sit with one another in general conversation the family albums find their way off the shelves and into our hands allowing us to remember some of the highlights within our lives.  It is through these “family” albums that Sandy’s girls are able to remember how the larger family connected as they were growing up.  If we were all meeting at my house and my family albums were to appear, they would see some of the same pictures as what is in their mothers albums, as well as some other events recorded on film that would again broaden their understanding of how the fabric of our family is woven.

        This coming Monday, as we hold the memorial for mom in our tribal community of origin, there will be not just family members gathering but also people who had important roles in mom’s life.  People like Bob and Laverne Grey who were close childhood friends; people who have children that I grew up with as well; people who are not just instrumental in the early life of my parents, but also impacted my life, folks that I don’t see very often.  I am reminded of one event many years ago when my sister, me, and our aunt Elsie were eating lunch in one of the local Kingman café, when an elderly man walked up to our table and asked if we were not “Bonnie and Virgil’s children, as he thought he recognized us”.  It was Bob Grey our dad’s childhood buddy of whom we had not seen in over thirty some odd years.  I have multiple photographs of he, mom, dad, Laverne and two other couples who all hung out together as close friends.  Now there is only Bob and Laverne and Katie left of that group, with the first passing on over 50 years ago. 

        Another truth that my mom taught me was “to put my faith in the Lord.  No matter what life may bring, God is there for you, supplying you with what you need.  You may not get what you want, but God will make sure you receive what you need!”  Well, that opens things up to a whole host of things from basic food and shelter to discipline.  As I share reflections each week to the congregations that I have served, I am amazed at how often something mom has brought to light comes into my thoughts on almost any topic.  I guess the reality is, that my congregation not only hears what God might have said on a subject, or how I interpret what has been recorded in scripture, but they also get some of “mom’s” understanding of how God works in our lives as well.

        I so often find it interesting that the “church” struggles with the popular phrase, “I’m spiritual, but not religious.”  The reality of the matter is, I was raised by that motto.  Most of my extended family never really found church communities as a viable environment to live out their faith, yet the understanding that God exists, that God will judge your actions based on how you treat your fellow human beings, that God walks beside you are all building blocks that I was raised with.  There was never any direct quotes from the Bible to substantiate these teachings, but presented as if Moses himself had brought these down from the mountain top directly given by God – also known as “commandments.”  I watched my mother curve her needs and desires to those of others (whether they were good or bad) because of this type of understanding that God is the ultimate judge of each person’s actions.  We are not to judge a person’s motive, just respond to it the best we can and let that motive be between God and that person.  It plays a huge part in my life when a person comes asking help from the church.  I find that I do not question the sincerity of the request, or judge “if they would only do this then they wouldn’t be in this position”, I just accept that request for what it is, “a need for help at that moment.”

        My mom also taught me that “life isn’t meant to be easy”.  In a society that preaches a “name it and claim it”, or “I deserve this” type of teaching, or “if you have enough faith in God, God will give you riches and a pain free life” she saw this as non-truth.  To mom, struggles in life were what build’s the character of a person, like exercising at the gym, to build your muscles, God somehow presented the opportunities for us to struggle in our own way the areas of our lives that needed to be buildup.  As an old Jewish saying presented in “Fiddler On the Roof” : Lord I know you love me, but couldn’t you just love me a little less? 

        I am reminded of so many times when mom would struggle to make ends meet and feel total despair, yet somehow rally with the confidence that God was with her in those times and would help pull her through them.  It wasn’t that God would magically throw money down from Heaven to resolve the problem, no that wasn’t what God was about, but rather God was there walking through this mess with you and helping you solve whatever situation you found yourself in.  God never provided hardship or pain as some faith communities like to believe, but God was always there holding onto your hand, somehow providing guidance and bringing that inner strength that is deep within you to rise to the occasion to meet whatever life throws at you.

        One last thing that comes to my mind as I wind down this two hour period of silent reflection (people are starting to wake up), that of “unconditional love” that mom taught and modeled.  This is probably the second most important lesson that she taught me and possibly the greatest gift given to me other than my life itself.  Unconditional – wow, what a word.  It so totally encompasses my mother and who she was.  The church throws that word and concept around on one side of its mouth while at the same time speaking judgments and presenting expectations in order to “be” accepted into the family. 

        While I was growing up, I was told by both mom and dad, that if I ever got into trouble, they would be there to stand beside me, whether I was in the right or in the wrong, but that if I were wrong, I would have to accept my punishment, but if I was being wronged, they would fight tooth and nail for my defense.  Maybe every parent says this, I don’t know, but what I do know is that mom had unconditional love for her family.  This was most evident to me as each of her three biological children came out as “gay” to her.  When many parents disowned their children because of this, mom never wavered in her love for us. 

        I started these reflections with the observation about the importance or possibly the reality of being “tribal”.  Many of these basic things that I have learned from mom are not what mom developed in a vacuum, but rather are “tribal” truths that she brought to the table from her mother and father, aunts and uncles.  The “commandments” that I was raised with really are teachings – laws if you will, of much of my family who has preceded my mother and father.  There is a circle of life, we are not individuals that live in isolation, but members of a much larger community, often referred to as family, but even larger than that.  And yet, it always comes back to the one on one relationships and from the perspective as a son or child, that relationship is most basic between our parent.  Often when I am speaking to someone or just doing head conversations with myself, I will make a statement and realize to myself, “I sound just like mom.”  Not just in thought but in the intonation, tenor, and inflection!  It’s a frighten realization to think that I am so much like my mother, and yet I cannot think of another person that I would most be proud to be compared to than that of my mom!  Mom, you have given me not only life, but a myriad of truths that are the foundational blocks that I live my life by – good and bad alike, thank you from the bottom of my soul for all of the shared events, the instructions, and the love and support that you have given me, my brother and my sister, and to all those that call you friend.

The mark of a Winner, by Rev Steven R Mitchell, based on Hebrews 11 &12, Mountain View United, CO 8-18-2013

The mark of a Winner

By Rev Steven R Mitchell

Mountain View United, Aurora, CO 8-18-2013

Based on Hebrews 11:29-34 & 12:1-2

 

        In the Spring of 1945 the musical Carousel debuted on Broadway with a song that was so powerful that it was sung for almost three decades by pop recording artists to church choirs for inspiration as one moves  into a new chapter of life.   The words of this particular song are so poignant, its like a knife plunging deep into the heart. 

When you walk through a storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.  At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain, Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone, You'll never, ever walk alone.

 

In the twelfth chapter of Hebrews the writer puts it this way:  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…  The book of Hebrews is a book that recognizes the hardships that come with living.  In the midst of many early Christians being killed, tortured, expelled from community, because of their faith in Jesus,  the author encourages the reader to take heart and stand firm in their struggles and in their faith; to persevere in faith and know that they are not going through this alone, but that many before them had gone through similar trials.  Surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, you’ll never walk alone!

        At the beginning of Hebrews chapter eleven a long list of who’s who in the Hebrew lineage is given as examples of the lineage the church comes from.  People such as Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac, Jacob and Esau, Joseph, and Moses are all examples of continual faith in God and in verse 13 we are told a great reality:  ¹³ All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.   Through this marvelous listing of “faith” heroes, we can pick up on a theme of “intergenerational mystery” of the church, as Kathy Huey puts it.  Rev Huey states, “How their lives count depends on our lives.  How well they did is determined by how well we do.”

        As a faith community, we do not walk alone!  We are products of those who have walked before us.  Their work, their struggles will be remembered by how well we hold true to our calling, our faith.  Note - (hold up the books of the Nossaman family tree as well as the bible for comparisons)   In my hand I am holding the completed volumes as of the year 2000 of one portion of my family tree.  In these pages are the names of not only those who have come before me but also those who are present, a list of over 1,700 names.  Through these pages, I have a sense of who I am, of where I come from, and by these peoples accomplishments, receive assurances of what I am capable of accomplishing myself.  I know I am not alone.  When my children were young and feeling overwhelmed at the task of growing up, I would sit down with them and remind them of who they are, by pointing out those matriarchs and patriarchs who have preceded them.

        In doing this am I saying that my family is without it’s share of misfits and scoundrels?  Not at all, in fact I can guarantee that no one in my family dead or alive is without character flaws.  The same truth goes for what we read about our ancestors of faith.  The Bible shares many of our most beloved stories that include their character flaws.  Moses, committed murder, Rahab was a prostitute, David was not only a murderer but a liar and an adulterer, although Ruth isn’t mentioned, she was a Moabite (the lowest of people in the Jewish mind.)  In fact, Jesus’ family blood line includes Rahab the prostitute and Ruth the Moabite.  Yet Jesus, through his faith and holding true to his calling sits on the right hand of God.

        There’s a sentence in this morning’s reading that is a challenge to us as people of faith.  It reads; let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  As we learn through the stories of the biblical patriarchs and matriarchs, they too had to throw off those things that hindered them and the sin that so easily entangled them in order to live out their faith.  In the book of Hebrews the ongoing theme is “faith” and although Faith is defined in a multiple of ways, in the book of Hebrew, faith is defined as “the courage to endure.”

        Taking this definition, as a society, we are obsessed with the idea of winning!  As a society we are told that in a competition, there is only one winner.  We are conditioned to view everyone who doesn’t finish first as non-winners.  Yet scripture challenges this big time in verse 13, “They did not receive the things promised” but, “All these people were still living by faith when they died.”  I titled this morning’s reflection, “The mark of a winner” which comes from a piece written by Dr Rev Bob Schuller, which I would like to share with you:

 Hebrews 12:1 encourages us to “run with endurance the race that is set before us.”  The running of a race provides an exciting illustration of faith.  The runner jumps at the starting gun, even though he cannot be sure he will win.  But one thing is certain.  The person who does not start can never win!

This means that another truth becomes markedly evident:  Every starter is a winner.  The losers are those who never tried.  If you need to be sure that you will win, if you need to be confident of success before you make a commitment, then you are not walking the walk of faith!

So the person who walks the walk of faith is alive and is keeping others alive, speculation on his success.  He is news, because he has entered the race before he is positive that he can win.

God’s promises are not offered to the “play-it-safe” spectator in the stands, but to the “lets-take-a chance” player in the middle of the game! Possibility Thinkers Bible.

         So if Schuller says that a winner is the one who enters the race, what does that look like individually?  Only you can answer that for yourself.  If you were to read my profile, it speaks heavily to “growth”.  I so believe in the idea of growth that I am the lead person at a conference level growth team.  Most of the time when we use the word “growth” we talk about increase of numbers; numbers of members or numbers in attendance, but my interest isn’t in increased numbers, but growth spiritually by individuals, for when that happens then the numerical growth follows.

        From my perspective, I think of “entering the race” as the challenge for my spiritual growth.  What do I do personally to continue to nurture my faith?  As we have grown into a society of consumers, our faith is so challenged to be as the Apostle Paul puts it, “spoon fed.”  You see, there is nothing new today about the natural desire to not work at developing our holistic self. 

        In our faith journey what do we do individually to grow or to run the race as it were?  Do we read our bibles regularly, and then spend time discussing what we’ve read with another individual?  How fully do we participate in the life of a faith community? 

Starting this last January, this church has been providing a Saturday morning Hot Cakes and Hot Topics, focusing on educational awareness of Social Justice Issues that impact our lives.  Over all we have had very good turn outs, but not by the congregation at large, but rather by other churches and secular social justice communities.  What started out to be a ministry to our church has not been successful – as Bob Schuller would say, the greater part of this community is not joining in the race, yet we are becoming widely known in the Metro area as a teaching church because of this ministry.

        For a congregation to grow numerically, we need to grow individually.  The old saying about the strenght of a chain is its weakest link.  I know that there are many things that we tell ourselves which keep us from actually entering into the race of our faith development, but as scripture says, we have to lay aside every weight that distracts us or weighs us down.   As a community of faith here at Mountain View, we are not alone, we have two generations that have preceded us, and not only them but generations of three specific denominations, and also from those saints that are both spoken about in scripture and those that have not been recorded.  We are not alone but walk with a great cloud of witnesses.

        I invite you to take this challenge as spoken by Dr Schuller with you as you leave today: Take this positive plunge:  Today double – check your life.  Don’t be a spectator in the stands, but a contestant!  Today commit yourself to continue to grow in your faith and in the work of Mountain View, knowing that sacrifice is needed and that you do not walk alone but with those who have lived by faith before you.   Amen

The Gospel According to PIXAR pt 5, "Being Incredible", by Rev Steven R Mitchell

The Gospel According to PIXAR pt 5

“Being Incredible”

By Rev Steven R Mitchell

Mountain View United Church, Aurora, CO 8-4-2013

Based on Philippians 3:3-11 and movie The Incredibles

 

        There is a marvelous scene in the movie Snow White where the wicked queen goes before a magic mirror and asks the mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, ‘Who’s the fairest of them all?’”  The mirror responds, “As lovely as you are my Queen, Snow white is truly the fairest of all.” (loosely paraphrased)  In the movie Shriek, we have Lord Farquaad asking his magic mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, isn’t this the most perfect Kingdom of them all?”  The mirror responds, “Well technically, you’re not a king.”  And in the movie Death Becomes Her, the Broadway Star says to her mirror in the opening scene, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, hope they don’t see the little scars (referring to her face lift.)”  When I look into the mirror, I ask the mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s that face I see looking back at me?”  My mirror doesn’t seem to speak to me, just reflects a face of someone older than what I perceive myself to be.

        In this morning’s Gospel, the Apostle Paul is writing to the church that in Philipi and reminding them of who they are, of where they find their true identities.  As a person, one’s identity is at the very essence of being known and of knowing who we are.   When we are born our name becomes a part of our identity, the things that we do throughout our lives also become come attached to our identity.  There are a couple of ways in which we can see ourselves, through the eyes of those around us, much like the mirror reflecting, and also through our own internal ways of seeing and understanding who we are.

        Paul indicates in his letter to the Philippians that he has a pedigree that far exceeds most.  Among that long list he includes being a member from the elite tribe of Benjamin, a true adhere to the law of Moses, and would persecute any who violated the law!  If anyone is a Super Hebrew, Paul certainly was.  

        Knowing who we are is essential to how we are able to navigate through life.  In the movie The Incredibles, can see the theme of identity being explored.  We see through the characters of Bob Parr, his wife Helen Parr, young Buddy, and through the two Parr children how their lives are fulfilled or restricted by how they identify with who they are.  The three main characters, Bob, Helen, and Buddy give us differing perspectives of how we incorporate those things that give us our “identities”.    The two Parr children show us behavior when we are being told at an early age “not to be ourselves.”  The Parr boy Dash, is constantly being invited into the Principles office with discipline issues because he isn’t able to go out for sports and use his natural ability of speed to re-enforce his God given talent.  Violet, on the other hand in being told not to be herself develops insecurities about who she is, which is stopping her from developing relationships with others.

        For Bob, AKA Mr. Incredible, a guy who prior to marriage knew who he was and lived out his identity – a super hero; a man with multiple abilities.  Mr. Incredible understands who he is from within himself.  He knows all of his abilities, recognizing that he has something special that only he can offer the world and in this recognition uses his powers for good, saving the world from the bad guys. 

Knowing who we are from within, that ability to properly understand who we are, what talents we possess is a good virtue, but it is also a two edged sword.  One of the pitfalls of being so “incredible”, is that you start playing by your own rules and often intervening or superseding the wishes of others when their desires interfere with your vision of what “is.”  This happened to Mr. Incredible when he saved the life of a man who wanted to commit suicide by jumping from a tall building.  The man was injured while being saved and because of a lawsuit, Mr. Incredible and all Super Hero’s for that matter were forbidden from doing acts of saving.

With this new law forbidding Mr. Incredible from being able to be who he truly is, we see how he copes trying to live as “ordinary” Bob Parr, an insurance claims adjuster.  In Bob Parr, we see a man who is very unhappy, bored, detached from his wife and family, rebellious, and deceitful.  When Bob is given the opportunity to once again be who he is, his attitude changes; he is happy, engaged with his family, creative, having lots of energy, having self-confidence once again.  With this new lease on life, Mr. Incredible also becomes totally self-absorbed with himself, losing sight of the most important things in his life – his wife and family.  

The opposite of Bob Parr is a little boy called Buddy, who did not possess special super hero powers but admired to a fault Mr. Incredible and felt that his self-worth could only be found in becoming the sidekick to Mr. Incredible.  Of course this wasn’t acceptable to Mr. Incredible, leaving Buddy with a sense of rejection.  What Buddy eventually realized was he had a great mind, but from the lack of proper self-esteem developed his mind for evil purposes.  Buddy becomes Syndrome, arch enemy of Mr. Incredible and all other Super Heroes.  Syndrome is the picture of Champion of “self-reliance”.  His goal was to create a destructive force that only he could conquer, there by becoming the Super Hero he desires.   In church talk, we would say, “salvation through works.”  “I will be good enough if I do enough good works.”  The affirmation of identity comes through external sources.

For Helen, her identity is seen through her relationship as wife, mother, and home maker.  She seems to not miss the use of her Super Hero powers or the lifestyle she once lived.  Yet when her family and husband is in danger, she once again becomes Elastigirl. As Helen, she desires only stability and peace for her family.  Because of her husband Bob’s abdicating his responsibilities within the family, Helen is seen as the “law maker” causing all sorts of negative energy among her family.  She struggles to instill confidence into her children of “how special” they are while also saying, “you can’t be who you truly are.”  Helen is finally called into her natural roll as Elastigirl in order to save her family.  While doing this, she realizes the harm that she has been doing to her children by not allowing them to grow into who they truly are, that of developing their special abilities.

One of the cornerstones of the movie is a law forbidding Supers to be who they are.  Why have a law forbidding Super Hero’s from acting out as Super’s?  The reality is Supers cause incredible physical damage with buildings crumbling, cars smashed up, even preventing people from doing what they wish to do that they feel is right for themselves. 

This is how the Apostle Paul approached his understanding of living either under the law or living in Christ.  The biblical truth that can be seen in this movie , is that identity comes from outside of us, not from within.  Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, He imputes to us his identity.  Our ultimate value is Jesus’ value, and it is not something that can be compromised or diminished.  And since our ultimate identity does not have to do with our abilities or disabilities, self-congratulation or self-satisfaction has no place.  This is the reason why Paul states that his pedigree has no place in his life, but rather “because of Christ all things I once thought were so important are gone from my life.  I don’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ – God’s righteousness.”  Let our “being incredible” come not from ourselves but through Christ!  Amen

The Gospel According To PIXAR pt 4, "Control verses Trust", By Rev Steven R Mitchell

The Gospel According To PIXAR pt 4

“Control verses Trust”

By Rev Steven R Mitchell

Mountain View United Church, Aurora, CO 7/28/2013

Based on Mark 8:34-37, Mark 10:13-21 and movie Finding Nemo

 

        In the movie Finding Nemo, we observe three main characters: Marlin the dad, Nemo the son, and Dory the absent-minded.  The film begins with Nemo preparing for his first day of school.  Nemo’s father, Marlin is worried that Nemo might not yet be ready for school.  The reason for this was when Nemo was just an egg, a barracuda, attacked his home, killing his mother and all the other ninety-nine brothers and sisters, only he and his dad survived the attack.  Wracked with guilt, Marlin promised never to let anything happen to Nemo.  This overprotection leads to a conflict with Nemo, which results in Nemo’s capture by a diver.

        This film is a story of humanity told through the lives of fish.  As humans we wish to be in control, directing our outcomes, yet we find the reality is counterproductive, for we generally fail to achieve the outcome that we want.  What we ultimately need often turns out to be the very opposite of what we initially pursued. The Gospel According to PIXAR, pg 31

        Marlin wasn’t always an overprotective parent.  At the beginning of the film, Marlin was a happy go lucky, everything in the world is going his way type of guy.  But after the fatal attack on his home and family, Marlin’s perception of the world became adversarial, “it’s the world against me!” type of thinking.  Nemo had suffered an injury to one of his fins in that attack, making him somewhat handicapped in his dad’s eyes, thus heightening Marlin’s over protectiveness; the major theme that Marlin teachings Nemo is that the Ocean is not safe.   Marlin is a parent motivated by fear.  He seeks to minimize every risk and prevent every foreseeable negative outcome.  Every new situation provides new opportunities for danger.  Marlin lives in a perpetual state of anxiety, yet the feeling of being in control provides for Marlin the only possibility of peace and security. The Gospel According to PIXAR, pg 32

        Out of defiance to his dad, Nemo takes the dare of his school buddies and swims off the reef only to be captured by a human diver.  This is one of the worst fears a parent could have.  Determined to find his son, Marlin ventures out into this world that he views as hostile.  Along the way, he meets a very absent minded Dory, who has the ability to read and speak Whale!  Together they go looking for Nemo.  On a personal note, Dory’s outlook on life is totally opposite of that of Marlin’s.  Dory see’s life as a total venture (maybe because she is able to forget the past.) 

        At every turn, these two sojourners encounter danger, such as meeting up with sharks who are members of a “Fish are not food” anonymous group, some sort of deep sea monster, and a whale that swallows them.  It is while inside the whale that Marlin has to learn to trust in something beyond his personal instincts of fear, which hasn’t been providing him with security all that well to this point.  Holding onto the tonsil of the whale, Dory insists that the whale says to let go.  For Marlin, it looks like letting go seems to be certain death, but his alternative of hanging on didn’t promise anything better.  Turning loose, he and Dory are blown out of the whale through his blowhole to safety.  Marlin then has the opportunity to practice this newly found trust when Nemo asks his dad trust him as he helps the fish caught in a fishing net to escape.  At the end of the movie we see where Marlin has learned to let go of his fear, becoming a person who other fish enjoy being around, and develops a healthy relationship between he and Nemo.

        How we view life is very closely related to our experiences in life.  If we have never encountered much resistance in our goals or have had very little exposure to violence, we would tend to be less fearful of our environment.  If on the other hand we have known violence or have been taught the world is an unsafe place in which to live in, then we would tend to view life more like Marlin. 

        A true story:  I was in San Francisco some years ago staying at a B&B in the Mission district.  A district that was at that time a rather rough place to be even in the daytime let along being on the streets after dark.  I had been at a bar about three miles from my B&B.  Come closing time, I couldn’t caught a cab so I decided to hoof the three miles hoping to catch a cab along the way.  At one point a cab did stop for me, but once he saw how I was dressed, wearing a torn T-shirt and ripped jeans, drove off leaving me on the street to continue my moonlit walk.  

        As I entered into the Mission District I was using my very best defensive “this is how you stay safe walking alone in an unknown, unsafe neighborhood at 3 a.m.” strategy.  As I came upon a group of people that I couldn’t avoid, and one lady screamed out, “Oh my goodness baby, did you get mugged?”  I quickened my pace and answered politely, “Yes I did.”  About two blocks further down the street, I passed a guy who looked at me and asked, “Is that a costume or was I in a fight?”  I answered, “it’s my costume.”   The questions that these two different people asked had a lot to do with how they perceive life.  For the one, life was seen through the lens of danger and violence, for the other, maybe one goes somewhere intentionally dressed looking ragged.

        This morning’s readings from Mark provide some parallels with Finding Nemo specifically that of “letting go”, knowing that we cannot control events around us and through this knowledge we can only live by trusting in a power that is greater than we are, God.  I continually have to come back as a comparison to that of the simple trust in God that my mother possess to that of the more complicated way of viewing God that I have; mom is more like a Dory and I am more like Marlin.  So much of my life, I work at trying to control and manipulate things so they will come out the way that I envision them to be.        

It really takes up a lot of energy, trying to be in total control of things going on around you.  And then when things do not play out the way that I am working toward, I have to fall back onto my mother’s understanding of God, that it is God who is in control.  There are two theological worlds at play here; my mother’s theological world is a world 5, things are as they will be, so why worry about it, just have “trust.”  This is as far away from my world 1 view, I’m not sure God really is out there working for me, therefore I need to make sure that I’m doing everything that I can to make what I want to be, work – total control.

        In the story about Jesus saying we need to come to God as children, I am most struck by the verse, “What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?”  Too often the idea of picking up one’s cross and following Jesus is understood as, denying yourself and trying to become just like Jesus.  I think what Jesus was truly trying to tell us was, we need to work at becoming who we truly are, that child full of expectancy, of adventure, and inquisitiveness, of trust.  Even in the story of the young man that Jesus asked of him to sell all that he had, then come follow him, isn’t about taking a vow of poverty, but letting go of those things that give us false security, things that keep us from actually trusting in God’s love, power, and ultimate life giving.  For me, it’s a constant struggle to not be like Marlin, for Jesus says we need to be a Dory in order to find ourselves, and it is in finding ourselves that we find life, true and full.  Amen

The Gospel According to PIXAR pt 3, "The Gift of Affirmation", by Rev Steven R Mitchell, Mountain View United Church, Aurora, CO

The Gospel According to PIXAR pt 3

“The Gift of Affirmation”

By Rev Steven R Mitchell

Mountain View United Church, Aurora 7-21-2013

Isaiah 65:16-17, John 21:15-17,

 

 

        “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  “What do you want to do in your life?”  “What adventures do you most dream of doing?”  Life is an amazing gift.  When we are young there seems to be every possibility available; there’s nothing that can stop us from doing whatever we wish to do.  But as we grow older, life seems to get in the way and some of those possibilities become dreams of the past, never attempted, never achieved. As Alan Jackson’s song, “Remember When” so vividly expresses, we remember not only those things that we have done, but also those dreams and promises that we for whatever reason have not kept, either to ourselves and others. 

When I was a child, I wanted to be a Bell Telephone operator like my mother.   When I got a little older, I thought I’d like to be a fireman like my dad.  Later I thought I wished to become an architect, but when I learned that I would have to take calculus, I changed my mind.  As a young adult I made a few demo recordings thinking I wanted to become a world famous performer, but when I became married, I switched to become an accountant, because life as a performer didn’t guarantee a steady income.  Life is full of possibilities and it is also filled with stuff that gets in the way of those possibilities.  At differing stages of our lives, we find ourselves assessing what our life has been and depending on how our achievements weigh against what our expectations where, we find ourselves either satisfied or feeling regretful.

In the movie “UP!” we meet Carl and Elle, Russell a wilderness scout, Dug a talking dog, and Kevin a female prehistoric bird.  The relationship between Carl and Elle is what creates the story, even though Elle is only in the first 15 minutes of the movie.  Carl and Elle meet as children and become lifelong companions.  Elle is depicted as a round faced, very adventurous person who is the driving force behind Carl.  Carl has a very square face, wears square glasses, and tends not to take risks. 

Elle has a life dream of moving to Paradise Falls in South America (it’s like America, but South!)  She makes Carl promise to take her there, where they can live and find all sorts of unexplored adventures.  The club house that Carl meets Elle at is an old abandoned Victorian house that she has named “Spirit of Adventure”.  When they marry, they buy this old house, fix it up and live their entire married life in this house, saving money for their big adventure to Paradise Falls.  But life gets in the way; they have to use their savings for things like flat tires, broken legs, trees falling on the house.  One day Carl realizes that he has never fulfilled his promise to Elle about taking her to Paradise Falls.  Carl purchases tickets so the two of them can finally make the trip, but Elle’s health fails and she dies, never making that trip.  Carl is left with the guilt of not keeping his promise to his beloved.  When forced with the option of going to a rest home, he decides to keep his promise to Elle and equips their house with enough balloons that will fly the house to Paradise Falls.

To Carl’s dismay he is continuously being challenged in achieving his goal by the unwanted companionship of a little boy named Russell, Dug a talking dog, and Kevin a female bird.   Once Carl does get the house to Paradise Falls, he realizes that it is unsatisfying; he still has that feeling of not keeping his promise to Elle – of giving her the adventure she had always dreamed of.   As Carl sits in his chair, he laments his failure to Elle as he looks through her “book of adventures”, when to his amazement, he finds it full of photographs of their life together.  On the last page of her book she hand writes a note to Carl, “Thanks for the adventure of my life, now go have a new one! Love Elle.”  With this Carl is finally freed from his guilt and can now focus on living in the present.

Scripture says, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”  Just what does that mean?   Sin is one of those words that I generally don’t like to use, because I’m never sure what “images” it brings to mind to the person that I am chatting with.  The movie “UP!” deals with the topic of “atonement” and “absolution”, church words that the general public don’t often use.  But in order to have “atonement” and “absolution”, you have to have something to be “atoned” of, which the church calls “sin.”  I think this movie has a great message in looking at what “sin” might be.  Carl was a person who seemed to need to be pushed, specifically by Elle, to take on the adventures of life.  Once he didn’t have Elle in his life, he became a crusty “old” fart, shutting himself off from the world around him.  But once he found out that Elle’s life was one of completeness with him, Carl was once again able to re-enter life and all the challenges it has to offer.

There are many people who wouldn’t buy into the scripture that “all have sinned” as the church has come to explain sin.  But what if we were to define sin more broadly with the statement that, “sin is not living up to your potential.”  Would this not make the scripture more applicable to all of us?  I think that if you take a moment to examine your life honestly and ask the question, “Have I lived up to my potential?” you would most likely find at least one area that you haven’t.  Sometimes these can prevent us from truly becoming who we know we should be.  For some, they just become gnawing things in the back of our minds that become small regrets in our senior years, not allowing us to fully appreciate all that we have become.

The Apostle Peter is a great story about what can happen when filled with guilt and regret.  Peter was a man who loved his teacher, Jesus, and promised to stand beside Jesus no matter what might come.  But when push came to shove denied ever knowing Jesus.  In shame Peter gives up and decides to return to his former life, giving up on his potential that Jesus had been cultivating.   In the final chapter of John, Jesus comes once again to Peter and asks him, “Do you love me?”, and then absolves him by saying, “Feed my sheep”, this happens three times, the same amount of times Peter had denied knowing Jesus.  Once Peter is freed from his guilt, he then becomes the leader of the new movement “The Way.”  In essence, Peter is able to continue to develop his potential. 

If we can look at “sin” as “not living up to our potential” then the only way that we are able to live up to our potential is to overcome what it is that is stopping us in doing that.  Usually these barriers are expressed in words like “regret” or “guilt”, which are restrictions that we place on ourselves.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The only way someone can put you down is if you allow them to do so.” (Paraphrased)  More often than not, we put ourselves down.  Absolution is that coming to terms with ourselves and removing those barriers in order to start living up to our potential.  Carl did this when he got rid of all the stuff in the house that had been memories of his and Elle’s life in order to allow the house to fly again and rescue Russell and Kevin.  For Peter, it was Jesus asking him to remember who Peter was and his love for Jesus and giving him permission to carry on the work.  What is needed in your life to bring “absolution” so that you can live up to your potential?  We all have the opportunity, we just need to be willing to let go of what holds up back and receive the gift of affirmation.  Amen

 

The Gospel According to PIXAR pt 2, "The Power of Love", by Rev Steven R Mitchell

The Gospel According to PIXAR, pt 2

“The Power of Love”

By Rev Steven R Mitchell

Mountain View United Church, Aurora 7-14-2013

 

        This past Thursday, the new Resilience Center of Aurora, the first in the nation, was dedicated.  It is a counseling center designed to help communities such as ours to cope with sever trauma and was inspired by last year’s tragic shootings at the Cineplex 16 theater where 12 people were killed and more than 50 injured and of the hundreds of people who have lost their homes these past two years from forest fires.  At the actual dedication, a sister of one of the young men killed spoke of hope with the cutting of the red ribbon.  A little later there was an amazing young man, his name is Marcus, spoke to Aurora faith leaders about his experience of being shoot twice in his arm and the death of his girlfriend and how that experience has challenged him to go into many communities and share his story of faith and deepened commitment to God’s message of love.

        I was once again reminded about how God’s presence is found in the most threatening of circumstances such as that evening last July 20^th, as well as in the peace and tranquility of my office as I prepare weekly to share about God’s teachings that give us direction, hope, strength, and wonderment on our journey in life.  Almost a month ago I had decided upon the summer series of “The Gospel According to Pixar” as a way of helping us understand secular societies language that speaks the words of God and of the human condition in a non-church vocabulary.  Over a month ago, I had decided upon which dates each PIXAR movie that I’m going to talk about would be presented in Worship, as well as which films would be shown at our family movie nights, and here this week I was being nurtured through amazing events such as Marcus’ story at the Resilience Center. 

Even this past Saturday morning in the simple act of passing out breakfast burrito’s to “day laborers” provided more stories of hope and the opportunity of providing a presence of Christ to men who live in fear of not being able to provide an adequate living for themselves and their families, or living in fear of being visible to ICE, which is the governmental police that arrest non-documented people living in our country.  On this particular Saturday there seemed to be more men opening up to us in conversation, sharing their stories.  We also feed a number of homeless folks near Colfax and Dayton, where we were asked to provide prayer for one man who was filled with anger over becoming homeless.  The love that this church provided through our being there that morning through our passing out breakfast burrito’s is an act of giving without expecting anything in return.  We do not go out and try to convert the people we are serving, we are just providing food that says in our presence, “we are here because God asks us to share what we have with you.”  It is an act of unconditional love.  It is telling these men and women who are now recognizing our faces that we are there for them with no strings attached.  That my dear brothers and sisters is a strong message in sharing God’s love.

This week the story from “Monsters, Inc” is our topic.  It’s a topic dealing with life that is running on fear verses life that is operating on love.  It is a story about two monsters, Sully and Mike, who work at a factory of the Monsters, Inc Company.  Together, with a host of other monsters, Sully, Mike, and one of the villains, Randall, work to collect “screams” from children by visiting their rooms at night.  The louder the screams, the more energy they collect.  These screams are converted to energy which powers the city of Monstropolis.  One day at the factory, Sully and Mike encounter a little girl, “Boo,” who has snuck into the monster world from the human world via her closet door.  In Monstropolis, human children are considered a possible fatal health risk.  (We would say, bio hazard.)  Sully and Mike discover this is false, and subsequently develop affection for Boo.  They then spend the rest of the movie trying to get her back to her world, keeping her safe from the evil intentions of Randall and Mr Waternoose, CEO of Monsters, Inc.  During the process of trying to get Boo home safely, Sully discovers Boo’s laughter is ten times more powerful than her screams.  After Sully and Mike defeat Randall and Mr. Waternoose, Monsters, Inc, changes from a “scare” factory to a “laugh factory.”

There are many directions with respect to social justice that this movie can direct discussion on, such as immigration, abortion, death penalty, gay marriage, prison reform, inner city crime, misuse of our world’s resources and the list goes on, but the primary focus of this movies message is the relationship between love and fear.   I’m speaking about the one directional love that we understand within scripture, but out of fear, are usually not able to really wrap our heads around, because God’s message generally requires more change within us than what we are willing to do.

In this movie we see where Boo is playing the part of the lover who is giving consistent “unconditional love” toward the monsters who truly are threatening and create fear, even to the point that she could be killed.  It is in this unconditional love of Boo’s that Sully, who Boo calls “Kitty”, realizes that his self-worth isn’t wrapped up in his ability to scare children, but is found because he is simply being loved.  Hear once again the words of Jesus, “^27-30 “To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.” 

If we could actually incorporate this one teaching within our personal lives and thus in the life of Mountain View, we would become the talk of Aurora.  We say we are an inclusive church, but how welcome would someone be if we knew that they were a convicted murdere, who has paid their debt to society, comes to worship with us?  Would this person be able to be open about who they are and what their past has been and be truly embraced by the congregation?  That’s the challenge that we have when we are confronted with God’s word about changing ourselves to the point that we can actually act as Jesus acts.

 Little did I know that I would be hearing first hand this week a story of one person’s life who lived minutes of fear that involved physical danger and how he lives day by day with the scripture that comes from 1John 4, “¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…”.   Marcus could easily have become a victim in more than just being shot or losing his girlfriend that night; he could be living day after day in fear, filled with hate toward the man who pulled the trigger on so many, not able to build a life for himself , moving beyond fear and living in the state of forgiveness.  I know of another story where another young man who watched the twin towers of the World Trade Center crumble by terrorist acts twelve years ago is much different. 

What is the difference between these two men that allows one to continue to build his life while the other is paralyzed by fear?  In one story, I heard much discussion about a relationship with God, in the other story I never heard any discussion about a relationship with God.  That is the difference, I believe.  For one young man, life is lived out in fear because there is not a sense that love is present, a love that transcends all normal understanding; after all, that is what terroristic activity tries to instill: a sense of isolation, of no hope, of creating fear so strong that you are unable to understand or recognize love that transcends. 

“¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us…” 

“¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.”  In the movie Monsters, Inc, the little girl Boo had this unending love for the scariest monster in Monstropolis, Sully.  It was this love that helped change the life and the focus of Sully; so much so, that he started to risk the loss of his career, of his friends, even to not see little Boo once he returns her safely to her home. 

The power of this story is found in the reality that love is so much stronger than that of fear.  It’s a love that is not requiring anything in return, but by its power can change lives.  It can change a monster like Sully into a lovable kitty; it can change a young man’s life like Marcus into a ambassador for God’s healing power and guiding light.  Let us continue to power our own lives with the power of love.  Amen