Living between Shadow and Light, By Rev Steven R Mitchell

Living between Shadow and Light

By Rev Steven R Mitchell

Mountain View United, Aurora, CO 4/7/2013

Based on John 20: 19-31

 

        As we recall last week’s story of Mary going to the tomb early in the morning while it was still dark, we pick up this morning with the disciples gathering behind locked doors at night.  As we examine stories of Jesus’ appearances on the first day of resurrection, we can see an inner play of “darkness” and of “light.” 

I would ask those of you who were in attendance at last week’s worship, “What did you feel when you were sitting in the sanctuary with the lights off, the windows covered in paper, making this room dark, and seeing the cross covered in black?”  Then, “What were your feelings as you saw the black shroud removed from the cross and replaced with the white cloth, the procession of flowers brought in, and the tearing sound of the paper that had blocked the windows, giving way to the light of the outside?”

        John’s description of this evening appearance by Jesus to ten of the disciples gives images of shadows and all that goes along with living in the shadows.  Words such as, “behind locked doors” and “fear” are words that we use to describe life when we feel utter despair or hopelessness.  On that day when Jesus was crucified, it wasn’t only Jesus who died, but also the disciples.  For their dreams of the future, their goals that had been rooted in Jesus’ mission had also died up on that cross.  They were a group of people, who had suddenly found their life’s plunged into darkness, going into “lock down” mode in order to protect themselves from an over powering hostile world.

        As we read about these first accounts of the fear, confusion, and grief that those who were following Jesus were experiencing, we in our hearts can empathize with them, for most of us have gone through periods in our own lives where we too have felt the sting of death in one form or another.  When a spouse looses their life’s partner, or when we lose our job because of economic downturns, or go through a divorce stemming out of a betrayal, or receive a diagnosis of a terminal illness, or a thousand other forced changes that can happen in life, all of these are examples that can force us into the shadows of life.

        I don’t know about how your body works, but I am finding that as we are moving toward the summer, I am waking up earlier and going to bed later.  The opposite happens to me as we move away from summer and into the winter months.  I often find myself in the heart of winter sitting in my favorite chair, feeling like it is time to head up for bed, only to discover that it is 7 p.m.  Science explains to us that the reason why most of us become sleepy earlier in winter and later in summer is due to the amount of light that is available.  Our brains are stimulated by light or the lack of it, creating a chemical called melatonin.  The more melatonin released into the body, the higher the desire to sleep, the lower amount of melatonin released into the body, the greater the energy and reduction toward sleep.

        Whenever we find ourselves in a major change in life’s circumstances, our brain often re-acts much like it does to the relationship in the amount of or lack of light received.  When a person experiences a deep loss, they find themselves shutting down, unable to process clearly there by inhibiting their ability to function rationally and fully.  I think this was the state of mind that the disciples were in those first few days after Jesus’ death; then enters Jesus into this locked room of people filled with despair and hiding in the shadows, fearful of being discovered by the religious authorities saying, “Peace be with you.” 

We all have our own ways of discovering this “peace” that Jesus gives us.  For myself, I seem to process my deepest emotional crisis through dreams.   I recall one loss in particular in my life, where the loss was so deep I didn’t know how I was going to survive, and then one morning I realized that I was dreaming the same dream nightly.  It went something like this: In my dream I was doing my job, which was selling real estate.  I have a natural love of viewing homes as they are being built, thereby giving me knowledge of the type of quality of the builder.  

I happen to come across a house that was newly framed, having only the studs of the walls up, so one could look through the house.  When a house is at this stage it is often difficult to know the layout of the house.  As I was studying the framing, trying to discern the layout, I notice the foundation that the framework is being built upon.  It wasn’t the usual smoothly finished six or eight inch thick wall, but rather this foundation’s walls were very thick and rough in texture.  Then the dream would end, repeating exactly the same way night after night. 

What I came to realize as the important part of this dream was in understanding the “concrete foundation”.  This foundation was so thick that it could hold any structure that was built upon it.  This dream was the light that I needed to understand that I was foundationally strong enough to get through that period of despair

Our spiritual faith is our foundation for life.  We all find our spiritual foundation in differing ways.  For me, my foundation comes through experiencing God’s love as shown through the person of Jesus.  The “Peace be with you” that Jesus spoke to the disciples is the “light” that is found when we unlock the doors of our hearts and allow the light of God to fill us up.

When we read about the next encounter the disciples had with Jesus, eight days later, we don’t read about any darkness, we don’t read that the door was locked.  “A week later his disciples were again in the house and Thomas was with them.  Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.”  I think what John is sharing with us is that after the first visit from Jesus; the disciples were no longer living their lives in the shadows of darkness, but rather in the light.

One more piece that I want to bring to our attention comes from that first evening after Jesus breathed the “Holy Spirit” onto them.  Jesus said, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”  Another way of experiencing the light comes in understanding the truth which comes through the act of “forgiveness”.  Forgiveness isn’t ultimately for the other person, the one who wronged you; rather, forgiveness is what brings the peace – the light that has to come to each of us in order to live in the light.  What I mean by this is, the disciples who lost their friend Jesus to the sinful actions of murder by those in authority, would never be able to move forward with their lives or with their mission that Jesus had been preparing them for, until they forgave those who brought them such pain.  In the translation The Message, Peterson puts it this way, “If you don’t forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?”  If we hold on to the wrong doings that have been done to us, what are we going to do with them?  How are those “wrongs” going to help us?   This was the topic that was discussed Saturday morning at the hot cakes and hot topics.

A huge portion of the “resurrection” story is about the resurrection that the disciples as well as Jesus.  These men who had their dreams, their goals killed by others, had to have their own resurrection.  They had to be able to release all the pain that comes with loss – they had to empty their tomb of grief and fear in order to leave the shadows that they found themselves living in and to start living in the light.  They had to open their empty hearts in order to receive the “Holy Spirit” the “light” that comes with letting God enter into ones heart.

On this second Sunday of Easter, what is your resurrection story?   I think it’s an ongoing story of resurrection.  Just as the Gospel of John gives continued accounts of Jesus appearing, we too will constantly encounter shadows but the resurrection of Christ is what allows Jesus to enter into those locked rooms that hold us in despair, giving us the “peace” that God promises to us again and again!  Amen